I quit my primary calling, planned a couple family dinners, and had some serious emotional ups and downs that last week, waiting for Sunday.
The night before, Hazel was completely bouncing off the walls. It was better than Christmas Eve. She was doing cartwheels, and tossing slippers in the air (ala graduation caps). She planned and set out outfits for herself and her doll Melody. Adorable, right?
Sunday the 16th we attended the first few minutes of church, but left after taking the sacrament, and drove two hours to the airport. The kids were sooooo excited. (I was nervous.)
We met up with Todd's parents and some of his siblings, nieces, and nephews. And anxiously watched for Todd to walk through the gates. The moment I saw him, I burst into tears. Hazel ran to him and jumped into his arms, and didn't come down for a solid ten minutes. Jack held back a little that first moment, but it only took one little conversation with Todd, eye to eye, before Jack was full-throttle in love as well.
The rest of the day, everyone was vying for Todd's attention. Todd moved Jack's carseat into the back of the van and sat between J and Hazel while I shuttled them to Lehi for lunch at Missy's. He rode back there with the kids a ton that first week back. I love it.
Todd did ride up front with me from Lehi to Smithfield. We had dinner with my family at my parent's house. Afterward, there was a wild rumpus with the kids, just like I'd been dreaming of. Lots of laughing and wrestling and running and I just sat back and videoed it and soaked in the extreme happiness we were all feeling to have Todd back.
Gemma has taken to Todd by all of a sudden deciding it's time to walk, now that Daddy's back. She toddles all over the place now. It's crazy. Literally, her record was eleven consecutive steps on the 16th, and within a few days, she was walking all over the place.
And thanks to Todd, I finally have her funny face on record. It's too difficult to get her to make it and take the picture at the same time. She opens her mouth and pulls it down as low and as big as possible, on purpose to make us laugh. I love it. She cracks me up.
It's been a lot of this ever since: general mayhem and overloaded happiness at our house.
I haven't known what to do with myself. I truly have about three spare hours a day because I'm no longer doing everything alone. My loneliness has been taken away. I no longer feel all bottled up, with important things to discuss and no way to have a real conversation about anything. I'm at peace.
Todd's been coming with us to library story time, preschool carpool, the park, the grocery store. He's been bike riding with the kids, taking them out on individual dates, fixing things around the house, and, of course, planning ways to strike it rich. We've been filling up on hide and go seek, tickle wars, and book reading.
I have felt a literal infusion of power and capability from heaven during this deployment, upholding me through overwhelming trials and debilitating fears of inadequacy. Now Todd has come back and taken over his roles as husband, father, best friend, life partner. I have felt a transfer of strength in the last couple of weeks, like God has stepped back and let Todd be my support again. I don't mean to say that I don't feel God supporting me right now - far from it. But I've felt a release of that extra strength I needed and begged for, and haven't been dropped, because Todd is back to provide his strength to me again.
I am overwhelmingly grateful Heavenly Father saw me through this difficult year. I couldn't have made it without His strength. I know He is mindful of me and my needs, and I know I was blessed through the enabling power of the Atonement to be more than I am on my own while Todd was away.
