February

Honestly, I have neither the memory nor the desire to blog about the first two weeks of February.  All I remember is the phone call from Todd, saying he had his plane ticket and would be home on the 16th, a full two weeks earlier than I'd been projecting his return.  Hazel, Jack, Gemma, and I had a dance party in the living room, then the older kids took turns cutting 20 links off our countdown chain all at once.

I quit my primary calling, planned a couple family dinners, and had some serious emotional ups and downs that last week, waiting for Sunday.

The night before, Hazel was completely bouncing off the walls.  It was better than Christmas Eve.  She was doing cartwheels, and tossing slippers in the air (ala graduation caps).  She planned and set out outfits for herself and her doll Melody.  Adorable, right?

Sunday the 16th we attended the first few minutes of church, but left after taking the sacrament, and drove two hours to the airport.  The kids were sooooo excited.  (I was nervous.)

We met up with Todd's parents and some of his siblings, nieces, and nephews.  And anxiously watched for Todd to walk through the gates.  The moment I saw him, I burst into tears.  Hazel ran to him and jumped into his arms, and didn't come down for a solid ten minutes.  Jack held back a little that first moment, but it only took one little conversation with Todd, eye to eye, before Jack was full-throttle in love as well.

The rest of the day, everyone was vying for Todd's attention.  Todd moved Jack's carseat into the back of the van and sat between J and Hazel while I shuttled them to Lehi for lunch at Missy's.  He rode back there with the kids a ton that first week back.  I love it.

Todd did ride up front with me from Lehi to Smithfield.  We had dinner with my family at my parent's house.  Afterward, there was a wild rumpus with the kids, just like I'd been dreaming of.  Lots of laughing and wrestling and running and I just sat back and videoed it and soaked in the extreme happiness we were all feeling to have Todd back.

Gemma has taken to Todd by all of a sudden deciding it's time to walk, now that Daddy's back.  She toddles all over the place now.  It's crazy.  Literally, her record was eleven consecutive steps on the 16th, and within a few days, she was walking all over the place.

And thanks to Todd, I finally have her funny face on record.  It's too difficult to get her to make it and take the picture at the same time.  She opens her mouth and pulls it down as low and as big as possible, on purpose to make us laugh.  I love it.  She cracks me up.

It's been a lot of this ever since: general mayhem and overloaded happiness at our house.  

I haven't known what to do with myself.  I truly have about three spare hours a day because I'm no longer doing everything alone.  My loneliness has been taken away.  I no longer feel all bottled up, with important things to discuss and no way to have a real conversation about anything.  I'm at peace.

Todd's been coming with us to library story time, preschool carpool, the park, the grocery store.  He's been bike riding with the kids, taking them out on individual dates, fixing things around the house, and, of course, planning ways to strike it rich.  We've been filling up on hide and go seek, tickle wars, and book reading.

I have felt a literal infusion of power and capability from heaven during this deployment, upholding me through overwhelming trials and debilitating fears of inadequacy. Now Todd has come back and taken over his roles as husband, father, best friend, life partner.  I have felt a transfer of strength in the last couple of weeks, like God has stepped back and let Todd be my support again.  I don't mean to say that I don't feel God supporting me right now - far from it.  But I've felt a release of that extra strength I needed and begged for, and haven't been dropped, because Todd is back to provide his strength to me again.

  I am overwhelmingly grateful Heavenly Father saw me through this difficult year.  I couldn't have made it without His strength.  I know He is mindful of me and my needs, and I know I was blessed through the enabling power of the Atonement to be more than I am on my own while Todd was away.

January

One day Jack came running down the hall with a screwdriver in his hand.  (?)  He tripped and fell, it scratched his nose, and I thanked his angels for helping him not gouge his eye.  It completely tripped me up that - just like that - my kid could have been blind.  Instead, he just had a scratch for a couple of days.  Seriously, I know we're being helped out by loved ones on the other side of the veil.  Moments like these - stacked deep - just make it undeniable.  

The kids have been cracking me up this month.  I've felt much more lighthearted with Todd's homecoming just around the bend and have been noticing more the happiness of our everydays.  Like Jack insisting on wearing his new dress-up vest without a shirt (like Aladdin) all day long, paired with purple sunglasses, an umbrella, some singing, and an aversion to picture-taking.

Or Hazel coming crying for help, kind of in a panic, because she trapped herself inside a zippered dress still on the hanger and needed assistance.  She was so mad that I snapped pictures and outright laughed before I rescued her. I still can't help laughing every time I look at this picture.

Jack turned three on January 4th.  We had a family brunch (muffins, sausage, and fruit) since the only food I can bank on Jack loving every single day is breakfast food.   He was so excited to help me make his tiger cake, and to share it with everyone who came.
 

You probably noticed Hazel's radical hat in the above photo.  She made birthday hats for everyone out of tissue paper, yarn, and tape, and wore hers for a couple of hours.  Another laugh-aloud.  

The kid loves buttons, anything electronic. I felt like a million bucks when I had the idea to get him a remote control car for his birthday.  I know, I'm a genius.

I interviewed Jack and got some fun answers from him.

Favorite color: orange
 Favorite toy: remote control car
Favorite movie: Peter Pan      
Favorite animal: tiger
Favorite song: nursery ones
Best friend: hmm, maybe Hazel
What do you like to do outside: bubbles
What do you like to sleep with: blue blanket
What do you want to be when you grow up? Dad
Favorite food: muffins
Where is your favorite place to go? Backyard and Nana’s house
What do you do really well? Hmm, movie
Favorite season: when it’s hot and I can wear my swimsuit
One food I really dislike is: mashed potatoes
What makes you laugh? birthdays
What are you afraid of? Mean tigers, bad dreams
What do you love to learn about? Everything (he's always asking questions)

Gemma jabbers a lot.  No persistent labels for anything yet, so I can't say she's started talking.  But boy, when she does, she's going to be a chatterbox.  She just loves to think she's telling you what she's thinking!

She scavenges in the cereal cupboard when she's hungry.

We finally had some good packing snow, and Hazel was stoked to go out and make a snow girl.

The next day, she helped me shovel the driveway while the others were napping.  Then she suggested we secretly shovel the neighbor's driveway.  What a good girl!  She spent a good portion of the time planning how we would dive behind a car or tree to hide if they came out.  When we were all done and heading inside, I just had this feeling to teach her how to make a snowball and lob a few at her.  We ended up making snow angels and a big snowgirl together and having a really good time feeling connected.  We seem to butt heads a lot, so I treasure opportunities like this, where she and I definitely strengthened our relationship as we spent time together.

Grammie and Poppa brought Kelsi and baby Kollyn with them up to our place for a Saturday.  It was wonderful spending time together.  My favorite moment was the impromptu dance party.  Yes, my kids were in their swimsuits.  I think they'd been playing "Oh no, we're trapped in a hurricane!"

Who says water noodles are only for the summer?  They make excellent weapons for winter sword fights, too.

This picture = happiness.  The kids play out in the backyard together a ton still.  All it takes is a little bribery.  They only get gum if they're outside, and they always get hot chocolate if they play out there for at least half an hour, so the two of them actually trundle around in the back quite frequently.

Gemma-Bemma had her first birthday on January 14th.  I fell in love with her all over again that day.  My heart was just filled to the brim.  

This girl can pack in a cupcake!  She shoved every last crumb in her mouth.  It was fascinating to watch.  

Her present was a walker.  Gemma loves to stand, and can take a few steps, but isn't really walking yet.  But she loves to cruise around the house if you hold her hands and help her, and now she gets this enormous grin on her face pushing this thing around.

The next day I took J and G in for their well-child check-ups.  Jack's 38 1/2 inches (75th percentile) and 34 pounds (50th percentile).  He and Hazel have always been around that zone (or taller).  Gemma is 27 inches tall and 18 pounds, 5th percentile in both.  (Hazel and Jack were both 30 inches tall and 21-22 pounds at this age.)  Gemma is my Teensy Beense.

She's a constant mess-maker.  Totally in that stage where she loves to pull things out.

One Saturday I decided we needed a date day.  My dad took over Gemma Duty, putting her down for a nap at home, and my mom came with Hazel, Jack and me to the movie theater to see Frozen.  My kids have never been in a movie theater before.  Two weeks later, Jack still out of the blue talks to me about how HUGE the screen was.  We loved the show!  We've been going nuts listening to the soundtrack ever since.  One night, while I was putting Gemma to bed, I could hear them playing the songs over and over and over again.  When I came out, I found that Hazel had moved the table and chairs over to the other side of the kitchen island so they'd have a huge dance floor, and she and Jack were just twirling and stomping their hearts out.
 

There have been many days I've wished for our trampoline.  It's hard to burn out the kids' energy in the winter!  Jack's stopped napping except for the rare occasion.

I've taken to calling Jack Mr. Electronics lately, as he has taught himself how to use one of Todd's old phones, how to navigate several programs on the computer, how to work a playlist on Grooveshark or iTunes, and is constantly listening to books on CD, mostly (I believe) so he can play with the machine.

Hazel said to me the other day, "It's a good thing you wrote on my birthday paper that I'm artistic, because today I'm being very artistic!" And it's true.  The girl is constantly creating.  I love it.  Here's a little hidden picture she drew on a Kleenex - find the hearts.

We spent the night at Grammy's last weekend.  Cousins Shaylee and Carli stayed, too, and the kids had a grand time playing together.  I had to snap a shot of this, Jack and Carli playing Mancala together.  Three years old!  Actually, it turned out they were making muffins with the Mancala board.  Even better.

We should have Todd home before the end of February.  We cannot wait!!!

December

December started out with a bang at the end of a busy weekend.  We had just had Thanksgiving twice, with the Binghams on Thursday, and with the Bonners on Friday.  Saturday we went into the forest and found our Christmas tree.  And Sunday, December 1st was Hazel's fifth birthday.

We had a lazy morning with candles in the breakfast cake.  Hazel intentionally blew out only four of her candles, then turned to Jack and said, "The last one's for you, J!" and let Jack blow it out.  I was so proud of her.  That Hazel, she can really surprise you with her generosity and thoughtfulness.

She opened her presents while we FaceTimed with Todd.  I got her a craft kit because the kid is always making something and I thought she'd love some fresh supplies.  I bought a couple totes and stuffed them to the rafters with tissue paper, scrapbooking scissors, sparkly paper, feathers, jewels, glue sticks, you name it.  Most of it was just odds and ends I had in my own craft supplies, but I did beef it up with a few novelties.  She was over the moon, and made three or four projects that day, starting with a sparkly Christmas tree.

I asked Hazel a few questions about herself, and want to record her answers here:

Favorite colors: dark pink, yellow, and turquoise
Favorite movie: Mulan
Favorite animal: cheetah
Favorite song: Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack
Best friends: Eva and Esther, and Olivia and Zack, and Nova and Spencer
What do you like to do outside?  Play in the snow
What do you like to sleep with?  cheetah and lemur
What do you want to be when you grow up? A job to take care of little kids
Favorite food: steak
Where is your favorite place to go?  safari with Daddy
What do you do really well?  art projects
What words describe you?  artistic
Favorite season?  winter - actually, spring
One food you really dislike?  pickles
What makes you laugh?  Things that are funny, like when a clown falls into an egg and can't get out.
What are you afraid of?  pirate dreams
What do you like to do with your family?  FHE treats
What do you love to learn about? animals

On the night of Hazel's birthday, my parents and my brother Chris joined us for a birthday dinner.  Of course, we had steak!  Then we decorated the Christmas tree.

On Monday, we had a friend birthday party.  We invited a handful of buddies from church and preschool over, played some games, made personal pizzas, and opened presents.

Hazel wanted to have her cake at the birthday party instead of with the family on Sunday.  I think it turned out really cool.

Gemma started spending a lot of time standing in December, and shortly after she hit her 11-month mark, she took her first step.

She spent a lot of time pulling off and playing with the ornaments on the lower branches of the Christmas tree.  I couldn't get enough of it, I thought it was so darling.  I was so mad Todd was missing it.  

Santa didn't come to our ward Christmas party (what?!) so we searched him out in the community and went to see him.  Hazel has never let me forget that we didn't go to the church party last year and she didn't ever see Santa.  Apparently, it is a BIG DEAL.  I was surprised that Jack was willing to sit next to him and shake his hand.  

I can't resist. How adorable is this, all three ducks, sitting in a row.

Jack did some weird and naughty things this month, like climbing into the dryer. . .  (Yes, we had a talk about how he could get trapped in there.)

Pouring his own syrup when I was out of the room . . .

And even playing with matches.  No picture of this one, but he did, in fact, light and put out a match while I was rocking Gemma to sleep for a morning nap.  Hazel was at school.  I came out of the room, and smelled it right off the bat.  Jack was very forthright; he'd been laying by Gemma's door waiting for me to come out so he could discuss his adventures with me.  He went to a time-out while I prayed frantically to know how to discipline him - because the boy can't be phased - and was inspired to show him a youtube video of a house on fire.  We stared at it and talked about it and thank goodness, I think the seriousness of the situation really did sink in, and I hid the matches in a new, higher spot, and so far, our house still stands.  Wish me luck.

The kids continue to make little forts with the furniture.  I thought it was nice that they included Gemma.

One day, they decided to play "going swimming."  I thought they were crazy.  There's eight inches of snow outside!  I've got slippers and a jacket on!  Oh, well, it's too much fun jumping off the couch into the "water" to worry about dressing appropriately.

Emily and Doug flew in from Chicago for Christmas, and Chris took the whole week off of work and spent it in Logan, so we had tons of sibling togetherness.  Mom took this picture the afternoon Chris joined us.  We were so excited, we were all just squished together on the couch, snuggling and chatting.

Doug brought his trumpet, and Jack was completely fascinated with it.  

Hazel and Ryan played a duet together.  No, Hazel cannot play the piano.  Ryan is just incredibly loving and patient.

We took a quick jaunt down to Midway a couple of days before Christmas to see Grammie and Poppa. KB helped my kids decorate their gingerbread house.

Hazel proved herself Todd's daughter when she grabbed a salt shaker, poured some into her hand, and licked it up.  Sometimes a Bonner just needs a little salt!

We came back to Smithfield and had the traditional Christmas Eve devotional with my family.  Here's Gemma with my brother Scott's son, Ethan.  Cousins!

I had a hard time (emotionally) setting up Christmas alone.  This month has been really, really hard for me in the Missing Todd Department.

Christmas morning, Jack was the first to wake up.  I tried to get him to cuddle with me and look at books until Hazel woke up, but he decided to go sit on her bed and wake her up himself instead.

All three kids by the tree:

Looking at the Butterfly Stories book Todd wrote for the kids:

Jack got a keyboard that's been really fun for him to play with.  The kid loves buttons and music.

Hazel got her first doll.  It was a shot in the dark - she's never asked for one or even really shown interest in them, but it seems like every girl her age has one, and I needed a $30 something to even her and Jack out.   I can't believe how much she has loved it.  She takes her to bed with her, people.  She buckled her in the car next to her when we went to the dentist the other day.  I'm so glad I got Hazel a doll.

Santa got Hazel an iPod shuffle.  She was completely inseparable from it for the first 48 hours.

Gemma got a ball popper that she really loves to play with.  She hangs onto the ridge and bounces along with the balls.  It's adorable.

Sibling group shot: (top) Emily, Chris, Kathryn, me (bottom) Scott, Ryan

Christmas night, the crowd came over to my place to hang after I put the kids to bed.  We had been taking personality tests, and spent the night discussing the results and gaining insights about each other. It was a cool evening.

Unfortunately, within minutes after everyone left, the stomach flu hit me and Jack hard.

Within 24 hours, Ryan, Mom, and Chris were feeling sick as well, and it was all downhill from there.  Everyone got sick.  While my immunity was down, I caught a cold that I'm still fighting, ten days later. We've hardly been anywhere or done anything. Thank goodness for all those new Christmas toys to keep the kids happy at home!

Hazel and Jack love their new flashlights:

And they've spent hours listening to books on CD with our new CD player.

Thankfully, I felt well enough to host my parents and Emily and Doug for New Year's Eve.  We had cheese night and played games.  The hit of the night was Hide and Go Seek in the basement with the flashlights (Todd's idea).