Midnight Musings

Well, it's 4:56 am. Why the heck am I awake?!

Hazel finally fell asleep last night at 11:45. I went right to bed and slept like a rock until 3:20, when the urge to feed my baby overcame my exhaustion. Always unfortunate when that happens and she's actually still asleep. Such a ripoff. Because said baby had not woken up on her own, she ate at a leisurely, sleepy pace. Read: until 4:15. Not the mark of efficiency I was hoping for.

But it gets worse.

Back in bed at 4:20, I suddenly find myself unable to sleep. How this happens I just do not know. I cried in church yesterday because Hazel slept through it and I wished I had stayed home and slept as well while I had the chance. I'm exhausted, and can't even remember what it feels like to get a good eight hours of uninterrupted sleep at night. I'm close to tears now because I'm so tired. But I just laid in bed for 35 minutes without falling asleep, so I might as well be doing something, right?

So I suppose I'll give you all the update on Hazel that I've been meaning to blog about since Friday, but haven't gotten around to yet.

Life has been insane since Hazel got her cast on. I made it about 30 hours on my own before I called up my mom, sobbing because I was so tired. Hazel would not sleep unless she was in my arms, so I had spent that first night on the couch, holding her, one hand on her back and the other on her head. Every 20 minutes or so she would jerk her body and her head would snap back if my hand wasn't there to stop it. She has been so needy, always having to be held, and often crying so loud and long that she's made herself hoarse.

My mom showed up Saturday night, and I went back home with her the next day. I spent last week up at my parents' place so there would be more hands to hold the little one. I never would have survived otherwise. Seriously.

Last Friday we went back to Primary Children's to have the first cast removed and the next one put on. The doctor said her foot was looking great and two casts would probably be all she'll need. Hallelujah! One more week of this.

Guess what they found when they took Hazel's cast off? An enormous blister on her heel. Aha!

The doctor made a big deal about how she'd NEVER seen that before in a patient, and Hazel must be destined for soccer. What a strong kicker! That might be the case. Hazel did spent an awful lot of time furiously kicking her legs during the week. It was like she was trying to kick the cast off. She was so mad about it.

I wonder, though, if the doctor made the cast too loose. It seems like there shouldn't have been enough room in there for Hazel's leg to slip around and create a blister in the first place.

At any rate, they put a moleskin on over the blister and applied the second cast. Hazel still doesn't like it, but it's been so much better than the first one. She's actually been sleeping in her crib, instead of in someone's arms. And she only cries like death for about an hour a day, instead of whenever she's awake. It's worlds better.

I can't wait for this to be over, though. I want my smiley little girl back. She's sort of got a perma-scowl these days. Where's my happy girl who only cries when she's got a bubble stuck in her tummy? I miss that kid. We had good times together, back before January 9th.

I SO hope this second cast does the trick. I just can't stand the idea of a third week of this.