March Review

We went and saw baby chicks at a farming supply store.  It was fun to walk in and find them by listening to their cheeps.  Jack was completely enamored.  He leaned in close and gave "oh, they so cute" statements the same way he talks about Gemma.  He did not want to leave.  

I can't keep this guy out of trouble!  He's our serious "mischief maker."  He has almost no interest in toys or anything you suggest he keep himself busy with.  Rather, he seeks out the forbidden.  My makeup bag is irresistible, so now I have to keep it on a high shelf in my closet.  He took the hand mixer into a bedroom and plugged it into the outlet.  He carries the kitchen stools all over the place and gets into closets and cupboards.  He's insatiably curious about everything that is off-limits.  

Hazel is in a major creation phase.  Every single day she goes crazy with paper, scissors, and tape.  Honestly, she goes through a roll of tape every couple of days.  She makes bags, doll strollers, treasure maps, archery arm bands, you name it!  Working on "projects" is her absolute favorite hobby right now.  

 Hazel and Jack are getting really good at playing together.  Hazel is always the ringleader, and Jack is thrilled to go along with her ideas as long as she's being respectful of him.  They are learning to use the space we've got in this big house and not always be right under my feet.  Which is a good thing, because I spent three hours a day nursing Gemma and it's not that exciting.  Their games often result in cute messes like this one:

Jack may be "Mr. Mischief," but I am falling more and more in love with him every day.  He is learning to communicate and it melts my heart when he asks me to pick him up, then lays his head on my shoulder and says, "Mommy loves me.  I love Mommy!  I happy!"  That is a daily occurance, folks!  I am one lucky mama.

We went to visit my Grandma Holley on Friday, and I couldn't have been more pleased with Hazel.  She was such a pleasant guest.  She spoke politely and was delighted with every activity Grandma suggested for her.  She sat at a table and did projects and happily complimented all the beautiful things she noticed in the house.  I love the wonderful little girl Hazel is turning into.  She can express herself well, and is super-sharp-smart, creative and artistic, a good friend, an impressive athlete, and completely beautiful inside and out.

We had my whole family up in Smithfield for the Easter weekend except for my sister Emily and her husband Doug, who live in Chicago.  (And we skyped with them, so we were sort of all together still for a while.)

Uncle Ryan slept at my house and completely showered my kids with playful attention the whole time.  He gave them the most valuable gift of time, studying and doing all his homework when they were sleeping and giving them his complete focus whenever they were around.  That means a lot to me.  Nothing says "love" to me more than time.

And poor Gemma hasn't had her picture taken in weeks!  I'll have to do better.  I couldn't ask for a better baby.  She is incredibly friendly, giving a beaming smile and a cute cooing conversation to each person who looks at her.  I always call her "darling."  She's just as sweet and easy to love as they come.  

I must say it a lot, because now I hear Hazel parroting me with, "Gemma, you're too cute!  It's just not fair to the other babies!"  

I almost don't dare type this, knock on wood, but she's slept through the night seven nights in a row now.  I pull her out of bed to nurse her about 10:30 each night and then don't hear a peep from her 'til about 8 am.  The kid's only 2.5 months old!  I know this is not normal.  It's absolutely a tender mercy from a Heavenly Father who knows I'm going to be able to handle everything on my plate much, much better with a full night's sleep.  I hope Gemma keeps it up, because it makes an enormous difference for my entire little family.    

Todd's still in Texas, for about five more weeks.  I try not to think about how much I miss him, because I just don't function well when I'm sad.  I know he misses me too, because yesterday on the phone he said he wished I could just hop on a plane and come out and see him for a few days.  I said maybe I should, and wondered how much the plane ticket would cost.  And he told me.  $750.  He'd already looked it up.  I fell more in love with him.  And then I've been sad for him.  I'm with our glorious kids and surrounded by family and living in a fantastic house, and he's sleeping in some stinky barrack and lonely and I wish he were here so bad.  Eleven more months to go...

Bittersweet

Today was the picture of domestic bliss.  Jack woke up first and snuggled in bed with me for half an hour before Hazel got up as well.  We had breakfast together and played in the house all morning.  The kids were cheerful and obedient, healthy and happy.

We skyped with Todd's parents, who are serving a mission in Estonia.  

The weather was awesome, so I tucked Jack and Gemma into the double stroller and we walked Hazel to preschool after lunch.  Gemma fell asleep on the walk.  Jack rode his bike in front of the house for twenty minutes after we came home, before going down for his nap.  I had a chance to rest for a bit.  

Hazel was happy to report that she loved everything she did at preschool today (again!).  She and I worked on some St. Patrick's Day worksheets she came home with.  I was impressed with her ability to recognize patterns, graph, and count syllables.  Who is this kid?  I haven't worked on any of those skills with her yet, but she knocked them out of the park, no problem.  

Hazel, Gemma, and I sat on the sunny front porch reading and eating apples.  Our next door neighbor brought her dog over and we met them both and had a nice conversation.  

Gemma fell asleep and I took her inside.  Jack woke up.  He and Hazel played happily outside for over an hour, mostly in the adorable playhouse in the backyard.  

I made them come inside when Gemma woke up and I had to work on dinner.  I sure wish that backyard had a fence!  That is my one misgiving with this amazing house.  It is spacious, sunny, beautiful, close to my parents, but on a 35 mph road with no fence.  I don't dare leave Jack out there without me.  

Hazel and Jack continued to play puppies while I made baked chicken drumsticks.  Both kids ate a great dinner.  (Practically unheard of!)  

My mom came over after dinner and helped me give Jack a haircut.  And it was by miles the easiest haircut I've ever given him.  

All three kids got a bath today.  I filmed happy home videos.  My house is (relatively) clean. 

Gemma was in bed for the night at 9:00, and I didn't even have to make her cry it out.  (Yet, at least.  The night is young.)  

The entire day was smooth and beautiful.  I've got this fabulous house and yard, and kids who are eating that up and getting an incredibly happy life because of it.  It's the life Todd and I have dreamed of having.  And he's not here to live it with us.  

I missed Todd a ton today.  He should be here experiencing this joy with us.  I was having a perfect day, but I cried through spots of it because of heartache.  And that frustrates me.  We wouldn't even be here, in this blissful set-up, if Todd weren't gone.  I know we are in the right place, that we will be comfortable and happy and watched over, and it will be a good year for our family in so many ways.  I am thankful for that, I am so thankful for that.  I'm grateful Heavenly Father is giving me and my kids this awesome compensation package to hold us over.  I just don't like that life continues to go on without Todd and all these experiences and memories are ones he won't get to have.  

But God is good.  This very moment, as I typed those last couple of lines, I remembered something from the last deployment.  I frantically followed baby Hazel around with the camera, taking pictures and video and trying my hardest to record her every milestone and moment for Todd.  And I felt cheated that he and I had struggled so hard to get pregnant, and we finally had our baby, and he wasn't there to experience it.  One hard night as I cried and prayed, God comforted me and told me that someday, Todd would get those missed moments back and it would all be made up for.  Somehow.  And that gave me peace.  

And that memory is bringing me peace right now.  That promise holds true now as well.  Todd is missing this year with our family right now, but it will be made up to us.  I'm going to hold on to that feeling.  Thank You, Heavenly Father.  I know You are aware of me and love me and my family.  

Catching Up Part 2 - Utah

We arrived in Smithfield safe and sound and had a massive lot of help unloading and unpacking from Todd's sisters Missy, Laura, and Kelsi, and Kelsi's husband David.  My in-laws sure did a fine job teaching their kids how to work!  I couldn't believe how much got accomplished that day.  Meanwhile, Hazel and Jack had a heyday with their cousins.

My dad was anxious for us to arrive while there was still plenty of snow on the ground so he could take my kids sledding on the little hill on the side of their house.  They had a great time.  Hazel went out a couple more times with Grandpa during our first week out here.  Jack might enjoy it more next winter...

Todd was home with us for just a few short days, which we spent busily unpacking and setting up home.  I was heartbroken the day we drove him to the airport.  He'll be in Texas until mid-May.  Then we should have him home for a few days before he leaves for Afghanistan.  That'll be our last visit from him.  It was rough seeing him cry as he said goodbye to the kids.  This deployment is going to be harder than the last one, for both of us, because of the kids.  

My two bright spots for this year are the house we're living in, and being close to family.  The house is a massive tender mercy.  The owners have been trying to sell it and took it off the market for a year so I could rent it and live here.  It is in my parents' (very small) ward boundaries, so I'm only a couple blocks away from them and get their help in church every Sunday.  It is 3,000 square feet, plus a yard, so we've more than quadrupled our living space.  When Hazel gets mad, she runs and hides in a random room and I can't find her right off the bat.  That is incredibly strange and exciting for me.  She and Jack chase each other all over the house and have more than enough space to have a blast in.  We've got plenty of space for visitors, hint, hint!

I am loving being close to my family.  My parents have been over here helping me every single day.  My mom babysits one or more of my kids at the drop of the hat, so I will never have to buy groceries with all three kids in tow.  My dad comes by on his way home from work each night and brings books from his school's library to read to the kids.  He is often here during the crazy dinner hour, and everyone knows how priceless another adult is at that time of the day.  In addition to that, the kids have been struggling at bedtime and really taking advantage of the fact that I'm usually nursing Gemma and trying to get her down for the night right after I put them to bed.  So my parents are tag-teaming it, and one of them comes over every night to help with that as well.  They are truly my angels.

Hazel requests "spooky stories" daily.  She asked Uncle Scott to tell her one, and he really got into it.  I LOVE the look on her face.  She was enraptured!  

We made a trip up to visit my Grandpa and Grandma Bingham last week.  It had been too long since I've seen them.  They were sure excited to meet Gemma.

Uncle Chris came up to visit last weekend.  Hazel gave him a serious workout, asking him to chase and pounce her constantly.  I think he loved it.  She sure did.

Gemma is absolutely adorable and a delight to be around ... but is still having a hard time figuring out bedtime.  Baby bootcamp starts on Thursday, her two-month birthday.  Cry it out, little one.  It's time to be asleep...  But how can you not love that face?  Seriously.

Hazel and Jack are the best of friends, and the worst of friends.  They play together so well, but they can fight like the dickens.  I love it when they're happy together.  Hopefully they'll be buddies for life.  Hazel told me Jack is her best friend.  Hooray!  Here they are pretending to sleep in the "mouse house" they built yesterday.  They are finding endless creative ways to play with the bar stools.

Catching Up Part 1 - California

 I totally do not have time to blog, but I need to because it's basically my journal now.  So I've glanced through my pictures and will try to hit some highlights before I've forgotten everything.

Hazel and Jack love having Gemma in our family.  They are great older siblings and always super sweet to her.  She gets so much love from them.  I hope that continues as she gets older.  (Don't be alarmed that Hazel is naked - she's just being Mowgli.  It was a daily feature in January and February.  She does have panties on.)

Gemma got a staff infection on her forehead and had to have antibiotics.  It was so sad.  Thankfully it cleared right up.

Todd left to start pre-deployment training in central California the first of February.  It was difficult, but I tried to remember that I would see him again for a few days in three weeks and hold on to that instead of sinking into despair.  It helped that I was watched over by dear friends and that my mom came out just a few days later and stayed until we moved.

Hazel was sad to say goodbye to her best friends, Nova and Spencer.  She's gotten really close to them as they've been her preschool buddies this past year.  Their moms are my best friends and we all cried a lot saying goodbye.

 Gemma started smiling and hasn't stopped!  She is a cheerful, social little buddy with a ready smile for anyone who looks at her when she's rested.

We soaked up our last few days of warm California "winter" before our departure.  I tried to get the kids outside every day that last couple of weeks before our move.  They had no idea what they were headed for!

The last week of February, Todd returned and we frantically finished packing and loaded the moving truck.  We had tons of support from our dear ward family: dinners, babysitters, packers, loaders, carpet cleaners ... It was amazing.  

Todd blessed Gemma in church on February 24th, our very last day in California.  

Todd drove the moving truck as it pulled our Altima, and I drove the van with my mom, while she wrangled the kids.  With the kids and a breastfeeding baby, every pit stop took an hour.  It was a loooong drive.  We're glad we drove past Reno on Sunday after church and finished the drive on Monday.  Either way, we drove until about 11:00 each night.  

I was disheartened by the cold when we arrived.  Brr!  Ug, real winter.  I don't miss it!  Luckily, it has only gotten warmer and warmer every day we've been out here, so our first view was our worst.