Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Camera Advice
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Sands of Time
But what started out as envy, jealousy and disbelief didn't take long to meld into fear, worry, and an anxious feeling of the sands of time slipping through my fingers. I remember when her six-year-old was a newborn. It was not that long ago. Hazel's already three. We're halfway there. Those years are going to pass in a flash.
And that lack of neediness, that independence, comes with a price called Loss of Control. The less the kids need me, the less I influence them, the less power I have over their experiences and how they interpret them. By the time Hazel is six, she'll be in school half the day, she'll be learning from friends and teachers and other kids' parents and that's so exciting, but it also means she's getting a lot of input that I didn't generate. That's kind of scary to me.
It just really hit me hard that my window of time to be THE influence on my kids, to be the ultimate source of all knowledge, is rather small. Right now my midgets are just darling little sponges, soaking up everything I can give them, but the clock is ticking, and before I know it, they'll be soaking things up from all over the place. I'm feeling a new pressure to use every day wisely, carefully investing in the few short years I have to be IT for Hazel, and just a few more for Jack, before they're off in the world and I just have to trust that I've taught them enough that they'll understand who they are and what they are capable of, that they can recognize Truth when they hear it. Just a few years more to firm up that foundation of trust so Hazel knows I'm always there for her and she never needs to feel like she can't talk to me about everything.
How do you prepare for that?
Friday, September 10, 2010
Bed Advice Request
to a big girl bed?We've been trying to build up the anticipation. The mattress has been behind her crib for a couple of months now, and we point to it and talk about it and have put it down and let her jump on it a couple of times. She came with me to buy sheets and comforters and loved toting those around the house. She's excited for it.
But she's going to be even more excited when she realizes she can get in and out of the bed herself without getting hurt (the pain is all that stops her from climbing out of her crib - she's been able to do it since May).
What strategies have you employed as you moved your kids from crib to bed that you recommend? What did you do that you wouldn't have if you knew what you do now? How long can I expect Hazel to take spotty naps and wake us up in the middle of the night?
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Tire Chub
My baby bump is the same as it was with Hazel. I'm 12 1/2 weeks now and it's jutting out a little bit, but no one would be able to tell the difference but me.
But I absolutely look pregnant. Ahem, much more than 12 weeks pregnant.
I've been carrying around this annoying tire of stomach skin since Hazel was born, the extra stretched out stuff that I just have not been able to tighten back up. It wasn't bad before I got pregnant again. I wasn't quite as skinny as before, but it wasn't very noticable unless I was in a swimsuit.
But the new baby has been pushing that tire up and out, taking over its hiding place and shoving it out for the world to see. There's nowhere for me to tuck it in anymore.
So that is what is "showing" and making me look pregnant. I've had several foreign neighbor ladies tell me - not ask me, but just outright jump into the congrats - that I'm expecting. I know everyone can see it, although American culture disallows us to mention it until I'm a lot bigger.
I have to know: am I just chubby, or is this what everyone else means when they "show" earlier than they did last time they were pregnant?
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Getting Through Winter One Day at a Time
I love this picture.
It's small, interactive, and free. We spent about an hour and a half there today, and that was with just a quick walk through the little zoo while the rain took a short break. For a ten-minute drive, I couldn't have asked for a better find.
Hazel loved the stuffed animal cave:
There were also several exhibits that used tennis balls, PVC pipe, and cranks. Hazel stayed at this one for a long time, putting balls in the tube over and over again, watching them fall into a big silver bowl.
Any other rainy day ideas for a one-year-old?
Friday, September 4, 2009
Travel Advice, Please
So the question is, how much baby gear do I pack? Todd and I are masters of carry-on only, but I'm pretty sure that went out the window last December first, due to the arrival of the cutest baby on the planet.
My biggest quandries with this trip are the stroller and the carseat. Neither were an issue when we went to Italy because Hazel lived in the Baby Bjorn and we took trains everywhere we went. Not the case this time. She's too heavy to keep in the carrier for long periods of time. That is, not if I want to keep my shoulders.
I did not buy Hazel a seat on the plane. She'll be riding on my lap. But do I still bring her carseat (and consequently haul it all over the airport all by my lonesome, while juggling Haz and all our baggage) or do I shell out the $12 a day to get one with our rental car? I can just see me limping through the terminal, dropping things here, there, and everywhere, while Hazel cries and wants to get out and play.
Which brings me to the stroller. In my mind, it's a lifesaver. Hazel's got a spot to be other than my arms, there's a basket to help carry some of our hud. But it's no umbrella stroller. It's a chunky Graco.
Which will take up an inordinate amount of trunk space in our rental car, begging the question - where will all of Todd's stuff go? I could get an umbrella stroller to take, but then it's no help with hauling our baggage in the airport. There goes my third and fourth hands.
But can I really live for two weeks without either of these items? Are they more than worth all the agony of lugging them around? I kind of suspect they are.
So would anyone with airport/baby travel experience please let me know how important these things are, and tell it to me straight: how much of a pain is that carseat in the airport?
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Spoon Aversion
Most of the time, she gets a bottle, then I plop a spoonful of baby food on her high chair tray and put graham cracker pieces in the middle of the mush, so she has to get it on her fingers to pick up her cracker. That way she's at least exposed to the other flavors. But that's as good as I've been able to get it. At the end of the meal she looks like this:
What can I do to get my kid to eat real food? I don't care if she doesn't eat baby food, but I don't know what else to give her at this pre-chewing point. She likes pears, watermelon, and apples, but they all go flying out of her hand before she can get much in her mouth. Any ideas of good, grippable yet baby-mouth-mushy foods I can introduce her to?
Monday, June 1, 2009
Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock, BRRRRIIIIINNNGGG!!!
Hazel loves to wake up at 6:20. On the dot. Occasionally it'll be 5:20 instead (oh, the horror!) and every once in a while she sleeps in until blessed 7:20. Always 20 after the hour. Very punctual.
I've got this ideal picture of her waking up between 7 and 8 each morning. I've been trying to train her to that end. Most of the time she spends the time from 6:20 to 6:58 alone in her crib, as I lie in my bed hoping she'll go back to sleep - trying to teach her that we get up at 7:00.
Occasionally she does go back to sleep.
Most of the time, not so much.
Yesterday she didn't even go back to sleep when she woke up at 5:20. I went in there after 20 minutes and kissed her, told her it was still nighttime, and even turned on her naptime music to try to hypnotize her back to sleep. Not successful. Protested off and on until I got her out at 6:35. (Am I a bad mom?) She took a nap at 8:00 am. Ridiculous.
What can I do? Ideas, please!
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Facebook Pro/Con List
I keep having visions of attending my high school reunion and being totally left out. Everyone else knowing all the details of one another's lives - the names of their kids and pets, where they've recently been on vacation, basically what they've been doing the past decade - and being all buddy-buddy because of that knowledge. And then I've become the stranger who knows nothing.
I also think it would be an interesting experiment to make an account, and then just wait and see who seeks me out. Except I'm worried nobody would, and then I'd feel like a lonely loser. And I truly don't need to add that to my self-image, people!
Plus is it even really safe? Would I just get creepos looking at my info, instead of friends?
But wouldn't it be nice to find out what all my old friends are up to? Even if they're friends I didn't stay in contact with, so you have to wonder if they were really that great of friends to begin with?
Mostly I want it because I'm just a smidge lonely with Todd gone and also because I always wonder what ever happened to so-and-so. It could be fun.
Not sure what to do. So, readers, do you have a Facebook account? And do you love it or hate it? What are the ins and outs of the process? How do I make it work for me?
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Easter and Napping
Hazel's been mastering the art of rolling over from her back to her tummy. She proved herself a genius in the timing department by doing it for the very first time in front of her doctor at her four-month well-baby check-up. Over the course of the next two weeks, she did it a few more times. As of Saturday morning, she had rolled over five times. By Saturday night, it was 10 times. Now, I've lost count. She generally only lasts a second or two when you lay her down before she flips. She just loves to explore what she can do! Hazel's doing really well in her new brace. It's kind of rocked her naps, but she hasn't ever been much good at those anyway (I'd love tips!). Otherwise, she acts normal most of the time and doesn't seem to mind it much. Thank goodness!
Naps: I wait until I see her slowing down her activity, yawning, or rubbing her eyes. I try to get her in her room before she starts to fuss, but don't always make it. Before I lay her down, I read her a book in the glider, sing a couple of songs to her, we shut the blinds to her room, and I play a nap CD of nature sounds and classical music. She doesn't like to go down. Usually there's a little bit of crying. But most of the time, she falls asleep within five or ten minutes of being placed in bed. The frustrating part is that the naps almost never last more than 30 minutes at a time. Sometimes only 10 or 15.
I've tried going in to soothe her back to sleep, but that hasn't ever worked. She will either get excited to see me and want to play, or she'll cry and be really crabby for the next hour. Then I KNOW she needed to sleep longer.
I've tried ignoring her cries for set amounts of time. I tried 10 or 15 minutes one week, and sometimes she'd go back to sleep, other times not, but usually not for long - maybe 10 more minutes. Another week I tried leaving her for an hour, whether or not she would sleep. Most of the time, she'd wake up after 20 minutes and just cry the rest of the hour.
I don't know whether I should try something else, or if my problem is that I'm not being consistent enough and I should stop trying new strategies. I'm at a loss here, and would love advice.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Mystery
What makes Hazel's carseat so much more conducive to naps than her crib is? I swear, she hardly ever sleeps for longer than 30 minutes during the day, unless she's in the carseat. So far, Hazel's been asleep in that thing for two hours, and she's not made a peep yet. What the heck? Should I go on "errands" every time she needs a nap? Would that give me a chance to take a shower and dress without her waking up?
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Abs of Steel, Anyone?
Todd has his two-week leave in March, and we're going to meet up here. . .

Italy!!!
Friday, October 31, 2008
What's That On Your FACE?!
But last night, seeing Todd's face gave me a bit of a surprise. At first, I thought it was just bad lighting. But I kept staring, and finally I had to ask, "Are you growing a mustache?" He laughed and answered in the affirmative. Apparently, all of the guys are doing it. It's a morale-boosting kind of a thing. What the - ?!
Now, I am a big fan of the two-day scruff. But usually the upper lip and the chin and cheeks match. It's so weird for him to have a mustache without a beard. And this is only a couple of days old. Just wait. . .Being in the military, Todd's never had much of an opportunity to grow facial hair. He keeps an electric razor in the car in case he forgets to shave before leaving for work. He'll get in trouble if he's not clean-shaven. However, apparently they have different standards when we're talking deployment. And, oh baby, Todd is taking advantage of it! It's super weird.
I asked him how long he was going to keep it, and he did NOT have a deadline in mind. So I gave him one. I said he could keep it until the day he comes home for Thanksgiving. I'll see it in person and try out the prickly kiss. But then it's got to come off. He can't have a 'stache in the brand new daddy pictures! My dad went through a mustache phase, and whenever we look at those pictures, we make fun of him and ask him what he was thinking. Todd cannot have his "what were you thinking" fashion moment as we introduce our new chica to the world. Sorry man.
Readers, what are your thoughts on mustaches? I'm talking - unaccompanied by a beard. Just the upper lip hair. Nothing more. Do tell.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
What kind?!
Is it Friday yet? Is it Friday yet?
Monday, June 9, 2008
Which Chair Should I Choose?
I'm almost positive I don't want one of these:

I mean, where's the comfort? There's nothing to snuggle my head against when it's 3:00 in the morning. Personally, I think these belong on a porch.
The real debate is, do I get one of these:
Or one of these:
The rocking armchair is really peaking my fancy. It's similar to what my mom had at home, and they seem so luxurious. The real problem is I can only find expensive ones. I like that they can have slipcovers that can be washed, and that they will still look good when you move them to your living room later in life. But am I being indulgent? Shouldn't a glider be good enough? Plus, maybe a glider is actually BETTER, and I just don't know it, because I haven't had a lot of Glider Exposure in my life. So readers, share your thoughts with me.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Quiz of Threes
1. Todd, especially when he pays a ton of attention to me instead of his homework
2. Knowing there's a baby growing inside of me
3. Family
3 Fears:
1. Taking care of a newborn
2. Cockroaches
3. Being alone outside in the dark
3 Goals:
1. Find the perfect rocking armchair
2. Stay sane for the next year and a half
3. Appreciate every single day I get to spend with Todd
3 Current Obsessions/Collections:
1. Obsessed with watching LOST online. Thanks, Amy Naseath. Your post made me curious. I had never watched it before. Now I'm squeezing in two episodes a day and falling asleep each night thinking about the plot twists.
2. Slowly collecting maternity clothes. I think I'm going to have to start moving faster if I don't want to wear the same shirt and shorts every day next month.
3. Collecting a large pile of pictures I want to scrapbook, and yet, haven't made a page in months. I'm thinking about forcing myself to do 45 minutes of scrapbooking for every LOST episode I watch.
3 Random Surprising Facts About Myself:
1. I love to pluck face hair. I prune my eyebrows thrice weekly, and am always looking for random hairs Todd missed when he shaved so I can pull them out with my tweezers. He also grows prickly hair on the ridges of his ears, and I get to pull those out, too.
2. From 8th-12th grade, I led a group in a week-long celebration titled, "National Spy Association Appreciation Week." I initiated new members each year. We dressed up in wacky clothes and went by spy names, carried around little notebooks and wrote secret observations in them, and had a spy breakfast Friday morning outside the school. I was the Queen Mother Spy. I wish I had pictures of it all, but at the time, I felt it was "confidential," so - nada.
3. I used to HATE to exercise. Now I do it almost every day. Some days I really don't feel like it, but most of the time I crave the energy I get from it. The key is finding activities you like. I prefer pilates, aerobics, and biking.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
What is going on here, people?
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Happy Valentine's Day
1) It's the Day of Love, and
2) It's fun to talk about Todd.
It basically asks me to tell all about Todd and how we met.
Love is in the air!
What is your husband's full name? Todd Floyd Bonner
How long have we been married? 3 years, 2 months, 26 days, and 3 hours.
How long did we date? About a year. We met in late August 2003, started hanging out in September, went on our first official date in October . . . were engaged the next September and married November 19, 2004.
Who said I love you first? Hmm. . . I'm pretty sure it was Todd. I don't remember the first time he said it, just the first time I said it, but he'd been trying to get it out of me for a while!
Who is taller? Todd, by 2 1/2 inches.
Who sings better? Hard to pinpoint. We both LOVE to sing in goofy voices. I am the one who brings out the hymnbook at FHE and makes us sing all the verses, and he only sings half the time at church, but ... when he does sing, it makes me melt. I love his singing voice.
Who is smarter? We are different kinds of smart. We are both geniuses, we often say.
Who pays the bills? We do them together. Usually I write the checks and stuff envelopes while he sorts through the mail and pays the online bills.
Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? I have been very adamant about us not having "our sides" of the bed. In the beginning of our marriage, I would flip from one side of Todd to the other side in the middle of the night to keep the whole thing fair game. It is "our" bed, and just "the side you're sleeping on tonight." However, we have definitely gotten into a most-of-the-time habit where Todd sleeps on whichever side the alarm clock is on. In California, that was the right side of the bed. Here in Alabama, that is the left side. And in truth, I'm almost always in the middle, anyway. A third of our bed goes unused!
Who mows the lawn? No lawn yet, but that will definitely be Todd if I have any say in it.
Who cooks dinner? That is a great question! We like to say we're co-chefs. The best meals come when we cook together.
Otherwise, most of the time it's me, but it's really hit or miss whether you're getting something amazing or something straight from a kid's meal. I'm a big fan of mac and cheese and chicken nuggets. Todd likes the more sophisticated meals. We have two big dinner issues:
1) Sometimes dinner doesn't even cross my mind until Todd walks in the door. Oops!
2) I hate touching raw meat. That keeps me from making many a sophisticated meal.
Who drives? Probably Todd 2/3 of the time. For short jaunts, Todd for sure. For road trips, lately he brings his homework, so I drive while he studies until the sun goes down, and then he drives in the dark.
Who’s more stubborn? Hmm. . . maybe me a little more than him??? I'm definitely more bossy. We like to say, "ONE of us is always right!" Sometimes it's him, sometimes it's me.
Who kissed who first? Todd tried to kiss me for weeks while I resisted. I wanted to be sure I loved him first. So it was actually the night that I first told Todd I loved him that he kissed me the first time. It was a great celebration.
Who asked who out? Todd asked me to Homecoming. I'd put a dance flier on the front door to make it obvious to all my gentlemen callers that I wanted to go. Todd flipped the flier over and asked me on the back of it, and left it on the front porch with a rose. I found it when I left the apartment that morning.
Who proposed? Todd did - several times casually at first, and then he'd change his mind and say he wasn't ready. We went ring shopping more than twice, only to come home and have him say he wasn't sure he should marry me after all.
When the real deal came along and he got on his knee and meant it, I was like - FINALLY! I'd been begging for it for months. I knew I wanted to marry that boy!
Who has more siblings? Todd does. He has 5 sisters and 1 brother. I've got 2 sisters and 3 brothers.
Who wears the pants in the family? We're co-pants wearers.
I tag: my sister Emily, Stephanie Hadfield, and Laurie Hansen.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Chain Letter!
A: The rules of the game are posted at the beginning.
B: Each player answers the questions about themselves.
C: At the end of the post, the player then tags 3 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.
10 years ago: I was 16, a sophomore in high school. I was BIG into drama. I tried out for the school musical and didn't get accepted - I was devastated! Three months later, I tried out for the school drama (they did one of each every year) and landed the female lead. Turns out I am an incredible actress, but not so hot of a singer/dancer! (Nick: Do you remember the day the power went out in drama, and we had a sword fight in the pitch darkness? That was an awesome day!)
I had HUGE royal blue warm-up pants that I wore whenever I had a math test. They were my good luck charm (studying was not). I remember a day that I went to school and someone mentioned the test we were having in math that afternoon - I had COMPLETELY forgotten about it, hadn't even looked over my notes the night before. During lunch, I talked a friend with a car into driving me home so I could get my good-luck pants for the test - don't you think I might have STUDIED during lunch instead? Hmm. . . .
5 things on my to-do list today:
1. Wash the kitchen floor.
2. Pay the bills.
3. Make a checklist of which nursery kids have had a turn taking home the treat basket, so everyone can get a turn.
4. Tutor a 2nd grader after school - helping her with her homework.
5. Beat my previous best time on electronic Sudoku level 4.
5 Snacks I enjoy:
1. Cookies - especially chocolate chip or soft ginger
2. Nature Valley Sweet & Salty Almond granola bars
3. Apple slices with crunchy peanut butter
4. Dried apricots and cranberries
5. Ice cream!
What I would do if I were suddenly made a billionaire: Todd would keel over if I didn't say "invest in real estate." Truth is, buy my dream house in California - just a nice one with a yard in a fabulous neighborhood in the boundaries for incredible schools and the best ward ever. That's all. And travel to Italy, of course. Probably battle with Todd over where to put the rest - in the bank or in stock!
5 places I have lived:
1. West Jordan, UT
2. Provo, UT
3. Mountain View, CA
4. Enterprise, AL
5. A couple tiddly little places when I was too young to remember, mostly all in UT.
5 jobs that I have had:
1. Telemarketer for my dad at Allstate Insurance - worst job ever!
2. Daycare provider for 1-3 graders - awesome! I got paid to play, go to the park, and tan at the pool, all while being followed around by little admirers. I loved it! Worked there every summer for five years.
3. Burger flipper at Scoreboard Grill, BYU food court. Greasiest job of all time.
4. Early morning custodial. 5-8 am. 4:30 is too early to wake up at any time of life, but especially during college. Got put on bathroom shift. Cleaning urinals is a great reason to crawl out of bed before the sun rises!
5. Teacher - mostly kindergarten, but student taught and substituted in a range from pre-k to 5th.
5 Things people don't know about me:
1. I'm a closet New Kids on the Block fan - I heard a rumor last week that they were reuniting, and I was estatic. Researched it online. Turns out it might not be true after all (no one in the band has confirmed it yet) and I was truly disappointed.
2. I've always had big biceps and was a huge arm wrestling guru in my pre-teens. My claim to fame is that I beat Kellen, the 9th grade wrestling champion - I save the part that I did it in 6th grade until after the shouts of acclimation!
3. I wish I was an artist. I would love it if I was awesome at painting landscapes!
4. I always want to visit art museums until I get inside them - then I realize that I don't like to look at paintings unless they're really fantastic. I usually like 2 or 3 paintings in the entire museum and end up feeling ripped off.
5. I'm obsessed with serving dishes. They have to be just right. I gave away every piece we got for our wedding because they weren't cute enough, or the right size, or were too fancy. . . Every time I pass the dish aisle at a store, I have to look at them. I've only bought four pieces ever. I need more! But I'm very picky. I don't know if I'll ever end up with enough, and it doesn't usually bother me until we have people over for dinner. Then I'm mortified.
I tag 1. Amy 2. Nick 3. Kelsey



